Tag: parent loss

• I can’t

  I can’t be funny today I can’t be loud and cheery I can’t smile at strangers I can’t wear a mask I can’t respond today I can’t answer the phone I can’t listen to drama I can’t talk I can’t help today I can’t solve any problems I can’t fix your mistakes I can’t rally…

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• Grief Equals Exhaustion

  Grief is absolutely exhausting. People usually think that references mental exhaustion, which is also accurate. I’m talking about physical exhaustion. I’m talking about the muscles that contract when trying to hold in tears. The abs you develop trying stop the tears once they start to flow because you’re so fucking tired of uncontrollable crying. The…

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• Death Pact

  Dustin had a darkness to him, beautiful and frightening, most of all, familiar. He was so open about his trauma and suicide attempts. He created a safe space for me to be open about my past and tendencies as well. Dustin never judged me. Nothing was too weird, too scary, too crazy. He embraced my…

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• Ink and Scars

  I was born with blonde hair, blue eyes, a small gap in my teeth, and a LOUD face. I got my first scar in high school when I took a knife to my wrist. It’s a small scar, no one would notice. It’s not visible in photos. Not long after, I started dyeing my hair…

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• POEM – Killer Whale

  I’m in a tiny boat Rowing my way across the ocean Underneath me swims a giant whale She’s quiet and terrifying in her beauty Sometimes she nudges the boat A reminder that she’s there Then she swims off Leaving me fairly undisturbed If I forget to speak to her She knocks into the boat Until…

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• Inanimate Objects

  Since people started dying around me I’ve felt the need to keep inanimate objects that remind me of them like somehow it’ll bring them back. I’m not talking cute like mementos I’m talking the yellow old feather pillow that’s deflated that my mom used. Or the old vape that leaks from my husband. A bag…

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• DREAMLAND – The Forest

  I woke up surrounded by beautiful green trees, the sun warm on my face. I looked around, taking in the exotic scenery. The air was filled with the sweet smell of flowers and the soothing melody of birds. I wandered down the only path, curious where it was to lead.  I began to notice doors…

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• POEM – The Razor

  I saw a razor the other day, on the counter at work.  Just a simple blade, nothing fancy.  I could feel the familiar burn on my skin, the metallic taste in my mouth.  I felt the sting of the water hitting the fresh open wound.  That high I’ve been chasing for years but won’t catch. …

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• POEM – Dark Figure

  My parents now live in their own individual box.  They rest on my shelf and guard the house.  The dogs are drawn to that area.  I’ve seen her standing over their kennels.  She is quiet and dark, a comforting presence.  Luke’s anxiety vanishes, Penny stares deeply.  I see her out of the corner of my…

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• POEM – Call Debbie

  My mother was Keeper of the Strays, Lover of the Outcast, Jack of all Trades.  Need a mother-figure? Call Debbie Need a surrogate grandma? Call Debbie No home cooked meal? Call Debbie Want a shoulder to cry on? Call Debbie Need a bookkeeper? You guessed it, Call Debbie Drinking buddy? Debbie Someone to plays pranks with?…

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