Suicide is Selfish

Suicide is so selfish

Didn’t he know the pain he caused?

He left you all alone

He traumatized you yet again

I’m the selfish one

I wanted him to stay

I saw his pain daily

Tried to love it away

I knew it consumed him

Yet still begged him not to leave

I pushed it down to make it small

Along with my own feelings

I watched him take his life

For hours to me he was dead

The relief when I saw him was magnificent

The defeat on his face was heartbreaking

I got 4 more months with him

Borrowed time

But at what cost

He had sacrificed himself repeatedly

I always knew this is how I’d lose him

Just not so soon

Not without me

Not alone

I get angry that he’s gone

Jealous almost

I need him here with me

I’m the selfish one