STORYTIME – Amputee Adventures

Dustin came home from his amputation with a nerve blocker in his collarbone area. Doctor told us to just take it out ourselves when the meds ran out. Ummm what?? I failed my nursing program Doc, I know the law not medicine. He told us it was no big deal just make sure the whole needle comes out and doesn’t break off. Totally sounded like a job for me. 🤦🏼‍♀️

So every night I nervously fell asleep next to the hum of the machine, waiting for it to go silent.

One night I hear a very soft ‘Um baby, I think it ran out’. Shit. Showtime.

We went into the bathroom, I had Dustin sit on the toilet while I started psyching myself up. ‘Just pull it baby, really quick, don’t think’. Oh ok, cause me not thinking has never led to poor decisions.

I took a deep breath and was ready to pull when I heard gagging. Behind me, Luke was in the doorway tossing his cookies. We started cracking up at our lovely service dog losing his shit over a medical procedure he can’t even understand and isn’t a part of in the first place!

I yanked it out, Dustin, now also gagging, started screaming ‘THROW IT AWAY! THROW IT AWAY!’ and was laughing hysterically. I was trying to not puke myself, ‘WHERE DO I THROW IT?!’

‘IN THE TRASH GOOFBALL!’

‘OH!!’ I yelled, frozen and holding the machine in the air.

Dustin grabbed the whole thing, nice canvas bag and all, and threw it in the trash. Luke was still sick. Jacoby was on the bed completely unbothered by all the shenanigans. We couldn’t sleep for hours we were so wound up and giggling.

One of my most favorite memories.